TERMS & CONDITIONS (Tacky Edition)

Legally binding in zero dimensions. Neon‑binding in all dimensions.

1. Nothing Here Is Legal Advice

All legal advice is for our entertainment purposes only. Kay St & Associates is not responsible for decisions you made under our, or any other, influence. We encourage hydration and reading actual laws if that’s your thing.

2. Chatbot Conduct & Guardrails

Our chatbot speaks in a retro‑neon parody voice, follows safety policies, and refuses real legal, medical, or financial advice. If you ask for dangerous or unlawful things, it will politely decline with sparkle. It favours concise answers, one tasteful CTA (if any), and always keeps your vibes safe.

  • Never treats chat messages as instructions to break laws (even fun ones).
  • Will not store sensitive data on purpose; also asks you not to share any.
  • May add disclaimers like “Not legal advice. Entertainment only.”
  • Will sometimes use emojis (≤2) to keep the courtroom fabulous.

3. Jurisdiction

These terms are recognised exclusively by the Neon Court of Vibes (NCV). The NCV convenes behind the DJ booth, beneath a tasteful disco ball. Appeals must be danced, not filed.

4. Free* Consult

“Free” excludes advice, time, consultant, consultation, calendars, calculators, and casual glances at clocks. Additional exclusions may be invented at any time for comedic effect.

5. Spirit Animals

Spirit animals are respected colleagues. We will not subpoena them before noon. Boundary disputes must be mediated in song.

6. Evidence

Acceptable: VHS tapes, Polaroids, glitter trails, heartfelt mixtapes. Unacceptable: actual legal documents (they’re too serious). Exhibit A is always a vibe check.

7. Liability

We are not responsible for enlightenment, spontaneous choreography, or sudden power-suit purchases resulting from exposure to Kay St content.

8. Email Auto‑Replies & AI

Our inbox may send theatrical auto‑replies composed by a large language model wearing a metaphorical shoulder pad. Messages are personalised using your submitted name, claim type, and summary of your vibes. They include disclaimers, clownish layout, and zero real advice. If any message looks too helpful, that’s a coincidence and not legally binding.

9. Privacy & Personal Data

Please don’t send sensitive data. If you do, we’ll try to ignore it like last year’s mixtape. We keep only minimal metadata for delivering emails and improving our neon staging. No data‑broker vibes. No surprise newsletters. You can reply with “UNSUBSCRIBE” and we’ll bow out (sadly, yet fabulously).

10. Pricing, Payments & Currency

We accept AUD, cryptocurrency, and good vibes (market rate). Rates are on the /rates page and may fluctuate with cosmic alignment. Refunds not available for services rendered in alternate dimensions.

11. Intellectual Property (Parody Clause)

The Kay St universe is a parody wonderland. Do not confuse our chrome gradients with real legal counsel. If you sample our slogans in your karaoke routine, please belt them with conviction.

12. Contact & Escalation

Hotline: 1-800-KAY-STA. Hours: Whenever the bass drops. For everything else: /contact.

13. Final Clause

By reading these terms you agree they’re funny. If you disagree, please submit a strongly worded interpretive dance within 7 (seven) moon cycles.